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One of the most important, nay, the most important aspect of your business is to look the part. I don’t mean looking the part by wearing the right clothes or having the right paper-weight on your desk – I’m talking about the first impression your client will get from you; your website.
If your website is crap, I guarantee that the only customers you get are accidental. Someone’s poor little granny who just started to use the internet might be naive enough to become your customer, but apart from the senile and the vulnerable – no real customers. It is of vital importance to hire a professional web designer and it isn’t hard these days because most web designers will have their own personal portfolios for you to see before hiring them.
Below is a showcase to help you realise what not to expect from your web designer. Here are the ugliest website designs of 2011.
The validation is from W3C Markup Validation Service.
WARNING: Keep a bag in front of you at all times - vomiting and nausea may occur instantly. If you are pregnant or not feeling well, consult their physician before continuing.
Click on the pictures to visit the site
1. Accept Jesus, but not through this site
If my name was being used like this, I would not only turn my other cheek – I’d hunt down the son-of-a-bitch who used my name to give people a migraine with this “design” and *the rest of this sentence could land me in court*. Seriously, it will give you a migraine and an epileptic fit, do no click the picture below!
Validation: 4 warnings and 19 errors, see here
Design: The moving background with so many colours does nothing to help an extremely outdated design. The banner seems to have been done in the 90′s and in fact the whole site doesn’t seem to have changed much for over a decade. The navigation is small and there’s not much to differentiate between one hyperlink to the next. Oh I forgot to mention the seizures the site offers its visitors.
2. Shop in Hell
Shop in “paradise” has more information on it than a periodical table, and that’s not even a joke! Take a look below and please tell me if you can see anything.
Design: There’s an information overload. No normal human being can take in that much information in one go. The amount of text needs to drastically be reduced to a level where the visitor can read 80% of the front page in less than 10 seconds. The colours don’t mesh properly, as any designer will tell you and there’s no consistency or differentiation from one paragraph to the next.
3. Evolution and the Nature of Science Institutes
Its funny because this website proves that evolution because it shows that the designer of this site is still a monkey and not even Neanderthal yet. I’ve seen cave paintings better than this.
Validation: 5 warnings and 126 errors, see here
Design: A common problem with most of the sites listed here is the sheer amount of text overload you get on the first page. The first page should be inviting and help you navigate through the site. The use of dominant colours as a background can work but unfortunately not with the colour scheme used. There is a navigation but its generally confusing and unhelpful. The side menu is disorganised and the fonts used throughout are a weak attempt at typography.
Apparently, starving yourself of sex will do this to your web design skills:
Validation: 17 errors, see here
Design: The instant audio recording knocks you for a moment from the repeating background which is confusing and disorientating. The background also means you can’t see the text whatsoever in places. Randomly placing biblical pictures along with pictures of yourself cuddling random verses and links makes the whole experience as confusing as celibacy. Well, I see your point then.
5. Haiti News Network
Providing News in the most informative way possible – overload.
Validation: 156 warnings and 558 errors, see here
Design: When everything flashes at you in one go, it is hard to concentrate on the fact that there is no real news to be seen. Going against the conventional layout of a web-page can be a serious win, but here there is no structural layout and it appears to not have changed for well over a decade.
6. Toronto Research Chemicals
Perhaps some of these chemicals were smoked by the web designer before attempting this shambles of web design.
Validation: 13 warnings and 21 errors, see here
Design: The intro is nauseating because of so many pictures zoomed in and out of in a few seconds. Flash intros have really become outdated, as has the music which is irritating and invasive. When deciding on a website design, remember to keep your message in mind. If you are researching something then you ought to have a website with a sensible colour scheme not pink streaks on a blue background – just doesn’t do it for me.
7. George Hutchins
If he can inflict this pain upon you for just visiting his website, imagine if he got into office. I’d rather be ruled by Sarah Palin.
Validation: 17 warnings and 160 errors, see here
Design: If you’re pushing tea parties and want to see government size reduced, perhaps you should first consider reducing the amount of junk you force your poor readers through. A repeating background over your grotesque face doesn’t seem to be helped by every colour in the rainbow used in the text. No text is distinguishable from any other and a repeating background leads to the serious inconsistency which you expect from a poltician.
8. The Rent is Too Damn High Party
I would, however, vote for “the rent is too damn high party”? I mean it looks like they would legalise marijuana since they obviously smoked it when making the website
Validation: 34 warnings and 178 errors, see here
Design: A black background with an extremely long paragraph of hyperlinks and flashing comic sans shouts that the site has not been changed since the start of this millennium. Once again, everything is flashing and nothing is clear. There is no real structure or defining message clearly stated. As I said before, your visitor should be able to digest nearly 80% of the main part of your information in less than 10 seconds. It would take me the best part of a day to do that here.
9. The Indian Government
So many freelance designers are from India but you would never guess it by looking at the government’s website. What a pile of puke, I reckon they paid a child one rupee to have it done.
Validation: This document can not be checked – probably because the results would shock you
Design: The colour-scheme should say something about India, I can’t even see a flag! Orange, White and Green? The navigation is exhausting to read through and should be placed in drop-down menus. Once again, there is far too much text and no attempt at a good use of typography.
10. Lings Cars
It says at the top that Jeremy Clarkson called it “The best car leasing website in the wuuurld”. Well that’s like saying that Jeremy Clarkson is the best looking man in the wuuurld.
Validation: 100 warnings and 301 errors, see here
Design: Many of the sites discussed above have not been genuinely changed for a few years – that’s not true here. Ling is awesome at business but whoever designed her website should be shot. Design fails include flashing text which enable you to not see a thing along with overcrowded and cramped text only to have, what appears to be, text and arrows made in paint covering it.
After 3 minutes of searching I found a search bar which ought to have been more predominantly displayed with a lot of spacing (remember Google). When you scroll down you will see several cars, which is good, until lots of flashing crap appears around them. If Ling changed her design, her already successful business would sky-rocket to record breaking levels.
If you haven’t been taken into intensive care with the ugliness of the websites you’ve seen, then please subscribe to our RSS.
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